Sunday, July 20, 2014

PB&J Sunday

We participated in Soul Food Sunday with Soul Food USA this evening. As always it was an uplifting experience that helped me feel connected and grateful. I had few interesting things happen that I wanted to share.

The first was as I handed a older man in a wheel chair a sandwich he said, “Well this must make you feel good about yourself, you make a few PB&J’s give them to some old people and you can go back to living in your big house with out feeling too guilty.” It made me think why is it I choose to spend some of my Sunday evenings feeding the homeless? I could justify it to say its to teach my children gratitude so maybe they wont complain every time they don’t like what I cook them for dinner. Or its because I genuinely care about others and feel for those who have less than me. Or I could say I feel so grateful for the blessings I have and I want to pay it forward in the little ways I can. But as I passed out the rest of the sandwiches I had in my bag I really examined it. Why I am here? Am I trying to prove something? And I over compensating for something? Am I trying to one up someone else? 

I know part of it is for my kids. Another huge part is habit, this is what my mom always did and does so now its a part of who I am; its just what we do. Another part of it is I just feel better afterwards like I do when I go on a hike or get all the laundry done. Its a better use of my time even if sometimes I’d rather stay home watching Pretty Little Lairs. I am not sure if that last one is good or bad I’m still pondering it.

The second thing that happened was kind of funny. I was standing there holding my last sandwich and the crowd cleared a little and another volunteer asked me if I had been offered water yet. Yup, she thought I was one of the homeless women. So that is just reminder to me you never know someone’s situation or what’s going on underneath just by looking at them, and that I probably should have showered today.

The last interesting thing that happened was afterwards during the drive home with Quinn. This was the first time he was able to join us since he had been at his mom's the last few times. He was really quiet and we could tell it really affected him. He asked if he ever had to do that again. We said probably we would be doing it in a few weeks and we asked why. He said it made him feel sad seeing all the people who didn't have anything and he didn't like feeling sad. I thought this was a very good way to put it, as an eleven year old boy he doesn't like feeling uncomfortable, which is normal; either do I. Often denying there's a problem and avoiding is easier but it can add to the problem. I could apply this to so many situations in life. I need to remember to get outside of my comfort zone and be part of the solution.

If you’d like to join Soul Food USA they serve every first and third Sunday of the month. 

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